Like a Boss

Leo put away the pasta well, like a boss. Fist-fulls of it. And bread, salami and calamari. 

Tuffano's

One might think that Olivia and Leo were served wine in lieu of water. 

Children's Museum

We ventured out to the Children's Museum at Navy Pier - for those who have never been, don't bother. Naperville is much nicer. But, the kids loved it, and Leo especially loved the DJ. He had no problem busting out his moves in front of the crowd. 

Almost Sleep Over

All of the SJF Daisys and Girl Scouts gathered in Kane Hall for an "almost sleepover" - treats, manicures, hair extensions and Just Dance. They had a blast. 

Pizza Pie

Smells like play-doh, though. 

Mr Personality

 Hamming it up with a snack 

Leo has gloves that are sharks - sometimes he takes them and makes growling sounds (they have teeth, so I'm sure he's linking them with his favorite lions) and then he snuggles them. 

In the Palm of his Hand

And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
You need not fear the terror of the night,
Nor the arrow that flies by day,
Though thousands fall about you,
Near you it shall not come.

***

Father Tom recommended this little figurine for Olivia, and it is perfect. 

City Dates

 To be honest, looking at these pictures of the Notebaert are so heartbreaking to me. This was the Saturday before, and I was so nauseous and tired - but had cancelled on Liv twice before, so we stuck to our plans and headed into the city. Olivia was bursting with excitement. We both had butterflies land on us that day - something that had never happened before. I had hoped in my heart it was a sign that all would be well. 

***

The weekend after that, we went to the Shedd. Olivia loved it, as did Leo. Especially the dolphins! 

Miss Valentine

Olivia loves all things Valentine, especially hair bows. 

Poor Guy

Our pal Leo came down with a nasty stomach bug on Wednesday, and ended up in the ER for some Zofran and an IV. 

Help Comes in All Sizes

Today was rough. An early start with some difficult appointments, continuing into a busy work day. Later on, I was walking to pick up Olivia when I heard a little voice: "Hi Megan!" I turned to see Molly, a 7th grader who lives on our block. She started walking toward me, and reached out to give me a big hug, and with tears running down her face, said she was sorry. Sweet, sweet girl. 

Tender Mercies

Last Sunday, our lives split into two. The before, and after. 

Before - pregnant with our 3rd child, I was so sick. Beyond nauseated and anemic.  But, we were so happy - Olivia was thrilled. Leo would undoubtedly cover the baby with his trademark kisses. The baby would share Leo's room. They'd be 2 years apart, and Olivia would be 6 years older. 

After - we lost the baby. I lost quite a lot of blood, and as I was told, nearly my life. 

The pain and difficulty of this has blindsided us. Telling Olivia, I felt my heart break as I watched her sweet face register confusion, and then crumple as our news sunk in. 

This pregnancy was by no means easy, from the various shots I had to take, to the appointments, to the complications that came with my subchorionic bleed. To make things easier, I came up with what I called "tender mercies" in my head. Small signs that the good always outweighs the bad. Sometimes a shot would not hurt. Almost all bleeding episodes happened at home. And when they didn't, there was a wheelchair and a kind stranger to help. The fact that I work from home and could easily be on bed rest. The most frequent mercy would be seeing our baby on the weekly ultrasounds, thriving. We decided that we would come up with a strong name for the baby, knowing that it had been a tumultuous pregnancy. On Sunday, we learned that the baby was a boy. We named him Vance Michael, after our Dads, two of the strongest men we know. 

As our hearts continue to break anew, with that darkness comes light. The tender mercies of those who love us. The frequent calls, the patient ears, the endless help with Olivia and Leo. The texts from friends checking in, bringing meals and baked goods. The shelter I found to donate my maternity clothes and other items to is, ironically, called The Well of Mercy. 

Mercy seems to have followed me through this pregnancy. I will admit, it can be hard to see through my cloud of grief. But I know it has been there, and will continue to be. 

Nap Head

Hide and Seek

Oh, what a sweet guy. He's graduated to hiding behind things other than his chubby little hands.